Wednesday 19 October 2016

CITY OF LIGHTS


“When do you want to go to the fair?” Aaron asked, looking through the class schedule.
“How about now? We are free, and there won’t be much people around.”
“That’s because it’s noon and people get sunburnt. Where is the fun without a crowd?”
“We’ll bring a crowd with us, right? Your friends and mine, we can go together.”
“Oh, I get it,” Aaron laughed. “You are scared of crowds and now you want to maintain a low profile by going to a fully exposed stadium with no people.” 
“I am not coming in the evening,” I replied, pretending to be texting. “I have a meeting with someone.” 
“You have a meeting with your phone’s wallpaper,” he said as he snatched my phone and looked at the screen. “Meet us by the entrance at seven, and if you don’t show up then you’ll see what awaits you tomorrow in class.”

Seeing a crowd scattered under a stream of decoration lights in the dark sent a chill up my spine. Is he staring at me? Is she staring at me? Why is that old woman talking to someone while looking at me? Am I doing something wrong again? 

“Sid, over here!” Aaron called out, holding a stick of purple cotton candy. I could see his weird tongue all purple now. “Isn’t this great?!’ he yelled through the loud crowd. “Everyone’s here! And we got tickets!” 
“No no…” As I started replying, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into another bunch of sweaty people with no sense of perfume. At least, they could’ve showered. “I am not getting on any rides!” I yelled, but he seemed to not acknowledge that. 

“Cool shirt, Sid,” Daya yelled out. Everyone was yelling around like a bunch of maniac, while I stood terrified in front of the rides. Why is that girl looking at me? Do I know her?

“You should know, Sid hates crowds.” Aaron was introducing me to the group. “So, to avoid his fear, how about we all get on some rides?”

“No rides,” I told him. “I hate heights too.” 
“Damn, what are you not scared of?” 
“Closed spaces and being alone? I am not getting on that thing!” I said, pointing at a ride swinging back and forth with people screaming like they were being treated at an asylum. 
“You are getting on that ride with us,” Daya spoke up. 
“No. I am not.” 
“Yes, you are.” 
“No, I am not.”
“This could go on forever,” Aaron interrupted. “Either you get on the ride with us, or you’ll stay here with all these strangers alone. So, choose.”

“Is neither an option?” 
“No.”
“Fine, I’ll get in the ride.” 

Scientists, or my Biology text, says that our body responds to the signals sent by the nerves, and those messages are mostly chemical. Maybe what I said was chemical, because my body has started to sweat like’ve been given the news that I am being taken to the most busiest place in the world. Moreover, I was wearing a red shirt. It’ll be transparent in a few minutes, I told myself. 

We stood by the queue, and I was getting more attention by the second because this was my neighbourhood and most people knew me since I wandered around pretty much everywhere everyday. They were waving, they were smiling, and some were approaching for small talks; and all my brain could do was give me the alert ‘PANICK!’ It was in that moment when I realised my brain will never obey me. 

“Uh-oh,” Aaron murmured. 
“Uh-oh what?” I asked him. 
“Um… Our group is odd numbered, but the seating is even numbered; two to be precise. That means…”
“You’ll sit with me. Problem solved!” 
“And let Daya sit alone with some stranger guy? Nah-uh!” 
“You’d rather make me sit with some random stranger?!” 
“You are a man! Grow some courage!” 
“This is not the time for argument,” Daya butted in. “I am not sitting with random strangers, neither are you. You can sit with Dhwani.”
“Dhwani who?” 
“Dhwani her,” Daya said as she pointed at a girl behind me. “She’s a friend of mine and has more courage than you. That will maintain an equilibrium.” 
“Then why don’t you sit with her?!” 
“Oh, you see,” the girl behind me started talking. “She likes your friend and is planning to tell him while they knock us out in the ride.”
“Seriously?” 
“Yes.” 
“This is dumb.”
“Um, that’s what I said. But she thinks it is huge. I’m Dhwani by the way.” 
“Sid,” I said, extending my hand for a shake.  “Well, this ought to be fun.”

“You guys are next,” the guard said, throwing us into the ride. Applying my little knowledge in how a ride works by learning their functions in Roller Coaster Tycoon III, I chose the seat which was low profile and less prone to danger if the whole thing exploded. 

“You sweat a lot. Do you have hyperhidrosis?” 
“No, I sweat only when I am nervous and scared together. I am handsome in the normal case.”
“Why are you nervous, it’s just a kid’s ride.”
“I suppose you haven’t seen Final Destination Three. See, these rides are poorly constructed without any safety features. There is not even an ambulance waiting out if all hell break lose.” 
I expected her to laugh at my logic, when I realised she was taking it rather seriously. 
“Wow, you think about this a lot, don’t you?” she asked. 
“Yes.” 
“Think of this way, if this doesn’t break then wouldn’t you be having a great time?”
“Technically, yes. But…” 
“And you came here to have fun with your friends I hope. Besides, the best way to get over your fear is by facing them. Conquer your fears. And if you get scared a lot, just close your eyes; you won’t feel much impact then.” 

And all hell broke lose. All the forces ever explained by any scientist came to play in a single ride. Being thrown and taken back would be wonderful for a homeless child; but this felt scary. And that felt good. 

“It’s true what they say,” Daya said as she walked out the exit. “Shaking a cloth helps to dry it off.”

“Which ride are we getting on next?” I asked them. Two laughter and a smile separated from the crowd of yellers. 
“How about the Octopus?” Dhwani asked. 
“Sounds good.”

Tuesday 11 October 2016

ASHES



Shattered flaws stitched in places
Where the monster sleeps within.
All the lies we built, they take us
To the time, the beginning.

Of all the hatred we bore, they take us
To the cage we built for ages.
On the bars, there are the traces
Of all the stain of curses.

The flames we set, they take us down
To a place we longed to be erased
The tomb of love, they burn to ashes
They tear down all the trances. 

Taken out like a shot down bird, 
Farewell! Dear nightmare. 
Of all the burns that we bury now
You're the one I've buried within.